(Not) Box Clever

A lesson in how to do business inefficiently ...

This morning Mr Courier delivered this:

Even the cat was 'excited'

(Helped to demonstrate size perspective, anyhow)

We were expecting a couple of deliveries for exchanged Christmas presents (boots for my son in a smaller size, a dress for my wife - also smaller, happily!), but why was this so light?  Opening the box initially revealed nothing except seemingly a lot of giant bubble wrap:

But what lay beneath?

Wait ... all that to send this?:

It was a pack of decorations from Tesco to replace ones that had been sent incorrectly in the first place.  The first lot had arrived with two similar sized products, but in the same sized box - which already had us angered at the time by the environmental wastage (Amazon are also guilty of this).

* * * * *

So, let's also look at the transaction from an economical perspective and you might get some clues as to why Tesco's profits and market share have been on the slide ...

- The item itself cost £7.99, to help you calculate the likely profit margin.

- The postage we paid on the original item was part of a £3.95 minimum (albeit sent with two other items), so this would have been incurred by Tesco themselves for the re-despatch.

- In the event, the goods that arrived were the same as the first lot.  The problem was in the product description, so they've incurred the additional postage cost as a result of someone's original input error.

- Not only have their resource costs doubled as a result of having to re-process this item, but they also had to pay the person in the call centre who arranged for the second despatch and someone else will presumably have to go in and alter the product description - if they can even bother to try to prevent an expensive recurrence.

- They could clearly have saved on packaging costs (but it's the waste and impact on the planet's resources that upsets us the most).

- They told us to keep the item sent to us in error, which is possibly enough on its own to go into negative profit on this transaction.

* * * * *

Now, we could go back to them and repeat the whole fiasco over again but we can make do with the items we've been sent - and we'd rather save another tree from being sacrificed as a result of corporate incompetency.

I'm posting links to this on Twitter, Facebook and to Tesco themselves - possibly BBC Watchdog - and would urge you to take similar action the next time a delivery contains more air than substance.

But at least the cat's happy!

Good People Unite

Interesting to see ‪#‎WhoIsMuhammad‬ trending on Twitter - a man who would smile if mocked (so presumably would have done so at the Charlie Hebdo cartoons), promoted respect for women and education and purportedly tolerated people of all races and creeds - to the extent that, when asked why he stood at the passing of a coffin for a Jew, he replied "Was he not a human being?". Regardless of where you think he stands in terms of salvation, these look like the marks of a good Teacher at the very least - why don't the extreme Islamists get this? Hoping these positive messages might lead to the unity between religions we've seen in France.

The mistake of the peaceful majority in the past was to remain silent - they're not doing so now and we should all promote peace - loudly!

The Old Boy Network seems Alive and Well

I'm getting mightily tired of the massive fines being imposed on banks (most recently for forex manipulation) not finding their way back to the people who were initially disadvantaged down the line.

I thought the financial regulators were altruistically set up to protect investors and strike a fair deal for them when they were wronged.

But instead it seems the banks continue with their dodgy practices and simply see these fines as a cost of doing business - I doubt that the fines represent more than a small fraction of the gains they actually make from malpractice.

And I can't help noticing what a lucrative industry governance has become in its own right - and how many executives (probably the majority of them ex-bankers themselves) are now doing rather nicely in both the States and here in the UK (despite occasionally having to defer the icing on the cake through bonuses).

In my most cynical moments, I'm convinced there's collusion between the City and its watchdogs*.  While hoodwinking the man in the street by creating the impression that everyone's playing by the rules, it's a perfect ruse for the fat cats to carry on pretty much as they did before - same greed, brighter halo.

They're not alone, of course - charity executives are also capitalising on the plight of those further down the food chain and the likes of Tony Blair are doing alright by picking up on both sides of their meddling as well (I wrote about the latter here).

I live in the hope that God ultimately won't help those who help themselves at other people's expense.

It's since been announced that the Government is allocating £100M from the LIBOR manipulation fines to military and emergency service charities.  Charitable donations by stealth from borrowers and investors to people whose pensions have ironically been decimated by the banks' other dodgy dealings. Blood money?

* If more proof is needed, welcome Attorney General Eric Holder of the SEC to the above club - a classic case of "working" with bad banks like JPMorgan Chase.

UPDATE (4 Jan '16): Another one under Blair's wing - David Miliband pockets big bucks from refugee misery.

Dear Cyclist - "It's Behind You!"

This week a Heathrow car rental firm got itself into hot water for warning its hirers that London cyclists are a "hazard" and "it is always the motorist's fault".

I'm not anti-cyclist, and we know that cars and bikes can exist in harmony in places like the Netherlands, but many London cyclists do seem to have a fairly blase attitude towards self-preservation.

I attribute most of my defensive driving skills to the spacial awareness that years of cycling and motorcycling instilled in me and it frustrates me that motorists and cyclists alike are often guilty of not paying nearly as much attention to what's coming up behind them as what's on the road ahead.

Which brings me to a glaring omission from most of the bicycles I see on London's roads - rear view mirrors.

It's true that motorists often neglect to check their blind spots, but at least their vehicles are equipped with the means to monitor potential developments behind them, whereas too many times I've seen cyclists swerve around obstacles like parked cars without so much as cursory glance over their shoulders beforehand.

Is it a vanity thing?  Do they think that, having spent so much on racing lycra and bikes that have specifications far beyond their needs or capabilities, it simply wouldn't be cool to spoil the effect with mirrors that might be seen as a betrayal of their commitment to shave milliseconds off their performance because of the extra wind drag produced?  This is commuting, guys, not the Olympics.

I have a friend who raced at a professional level, so I sought his opinion before writing this in case I incurred the wrath of those who take their riding seriously and are tired of getting beaten up on because they get placed in the same bag as their amateur counterparts.

His reply?  "I would say it comes simply down to people who don't have a clue how to be safe on bikes ... And there's a lot of them around!"

If you're too cool for school, there are mirror options that can be worn in-helmet or on your wrist etc.

For my part, I was proud of my mirrors as a kid cycling in the somewhat less frantic environment of a sleepy Australian town - although in retrospect I'd probably have lost the handlebar tassels ...

Good / Grief

Last night's episode of Channel 4's 'Astronauts: Living in Space' reminded me of two of my earlier posts, One Earth - Why are we Squabbling over it? and A Look at Conflict: How Long can you hold a Grudge?

Our world is a complete miracle, but one of contrasts - Hot. Cold. High. Low. Dry. Wet. Beautiful. Dangerous.  And, at the building block level, Positive and Negative - the analogies we also use to describe our outlook.

I naturally incline towards the positive - I don't like to think that it's a freaky coincidence that the moon, although much smaller and closer, happens to fit exactly the size of our giant sun during an eclipse.  Or that it influences the Earth's tides so that our oceans and rivers cleanse themselves.  I marvel at the sheer distances in the Universe ... it blows my mind that we talk in terms of millions of light years, when I can barely get my head around the sun's rays taking only 8 minutes to cover the nearly 100 million miles to get to us.

Pondering stuff like this transcends the suffocating humdrum of daily life and puts a toe in the waters of spirituality - something beyond ourselves.  Call it what you will - Consciousness. Faith. Awareness. One-ness.  But I'd rather believe that there's a purpose to our existence than accept it as a happy accident.  And, for me, that's worth preserving.

So give me Love & Peace over Hate & War any day.  Easy and sensible choice, right?  Yet why is the world in political turmoil?  Surely everyone would prefer to live in Utopian harmony?

This is where the intangibles kick in - like emotion and sentiment.  Because it's not about who's Right or Wrong - principles are only as valuable as the best orator.  It's about whether the intent is Good or Evil.

If you believe nothing else, know that these forces are real and as viable as anything physical.  History points to the evidence.  We're not just organisms - we have the capacity to grasp this concept of positive and negative and, in my view, are an integral part of the cosmic machinations of working it through.  Science confirms that there's a constant dance going on between the two - for every action, a reaction.  A state of flux.  But if one were ever to prevail over the other, there would be a fundamental shift in the order of things.  Maybe then the Unknown will manifest itself ...

You better get on your knees and pray that the victor is Good, folks - it's gonna be a trippy ride.  In the meantime, play nice and delight in our beautiful planet.